Speak Now
by writer in hiding
Summary: I'm frozen, everything around me moves in a blurry rip tide pushing me to do something, to stop sitting and run, before I lose the chance. He's smiling up at me expectantly, I hear the whisper's of all the people staring waiting for my answer. "Why not?" I hear myself whisper. The moment of opportunity slips, the door slams shut, sealing my fate till death do us part.
1. Chapter 1

**_This is NOT a Bella / Jacob story NOT NOT NOT! I promise I'm not going to spoil anything but I am asking you all to bear with me please but I promise. _**

**_Hello everybody!I haven't written on here in years but I really want to write again. So I will love any questions concerns or comments. Constructive Criticism is welcome, but the key word here is CONSTRUCTIVE. _**

**_I will see you all at the bottom!_**  
**_X Standard disclaimers apply X_**

**Chapter One**

_"Love is natural. Even the human race can't claim to be natural anymore. We are fake. How fitting that I would end up in this sham of a marriage." - __**Wither**_

"Thank you again Mike" I said with a smile, making my way to the other end of my desk. It had taken all morning but my classroom was finally coming together.

"Don't mention it Bella," he flashed a smile back at me. "On the count of three then," I said placing my hands firmly on the desk and bracing my back. "One... two... three..." with a loud scrape and a grunt the desk landed in front of the chalk board.

"I don't understand," I panted, clutching my side, "why they can't put the furniture back after they clean it at the end of the summer. "

"I don't know," he mumbled leaning heavily on the desk, "Is there anything else you need help with?"

I look around at the tiny desks lined neatly in rows each accompanied by a little chair. The aquarium was up and whirring quietly in the background, and the puppet theater and dress stage had taken a while but both are finally up. The art board is re-tacked and the book shelves are clean and waiting to be stacked.

"Nope that's it," I said with a shrug "I have some books to put away, name cards to make. That sort of thing," I made my way over to the desk chair that was laying upside on the floor.

"Wow, you're on a roll. I've barely started" he said following me to the chair and putting it up right, "big plans for this weekend?"

"Not exactly," I mumbled making a face, "Jacob wants to go out to dinner tonight."

"Ahhhh" Mike nodded knowingly "what's the chief got planned this time?"

"I don't know," I sighed sinking down into my chair.

"You know it could be worse," he said pushing me and the chair to the desk.

"Oh yea? How?" I said crossing my arms over the desk and laying my head down.

"You could be like me, with no plans and no love life."

I just shook my head and waved Mike out of the room. He grinned sheepishly from the hallway pulling the door shut behind him. I knew he was right. I had nothing without Jake, and he made sure I remembered it.

I moved to Forks right after my sixteenth birthday to live with my dad, the old chief of police. My mom was newly married to a baseball player and I was tired of being the third wheel. I met Jacob Black shortly after, he was an old family friend and Charlie started throwing us together every chance he had.

He was charming and sweet. We went for walks on the beach and I felt like I could really talk to him. He transferred to my school and we took almost every class together I guess getting together was inevitable. When it finally happened junior year Charlie was over the moon. We stayed together through high school and half way through college. He was comfortable, he was there, he made me feel safe and wanted, until he didn't.

It wasn't like our relationship exploded in one big melodrama, it fell apart slowly. I started to feel like I needed something more than comfortable, something more than this regular routine we had going. I felt stuck and then things changed and Jake didn't like the clothes I wore or any ofmy friends. So I put on different clothes, and found new friends thinking it would make him happy, but nothing did he just started on something else, my make up, my grades, my career path.

Screw being comfortable. I was done with him and I broke it off. He went rip shit, swore no one would ever love me, that he was doing me a favor by staying with me. Who would want a worthless thing like me. I would end up alone without him.

I finished school and went back to Forks with his taunts ringing in my ears. I started teaching at the preschool, Jacob followed and joined the force. I saw him come and go with other girls but I was relieved he was done chasing me. Charlie was pretty upset but he said I was old enough to make my own decisions.

I tried to date but there were few if any who showed interest, I always had Jacob's words in the back of my head I would end up alone. Had he really done me a favor? Am I that unattractive? It bothered me more than it should so I threw myself into work.

I grew into a comfortable routine with a job that I absolutely love. I kept busy creating projects and working on my class schedules. Looking for new teaching tools, classes that would help me improve my skills, anything to keep busy on a friday and saturday night. I went out occasionally with the few friends that kept in touch, and for the most part I was okay. I thought things would turn out fine if I kept myself busy, but then Charlie got shot.

The police car had pulled up and Jacob stepped out with another officer. I had been about to tell him to go to hell but there was a look on his face that stopped me. The words fell out of his mouth like stones each landing in my gut making me want to retch.

My father was gone. Tears fell down his cheeks, and his hands shook as he reached for me we both crumpled to the floor. Jacob stayed and took over everything, he handled the funeral, and helped with my family. He held my hand and for the first time in so long I wasn't alone. He moved in with me shortly afterward to make sure I was okay and slowly he made his way back into my life.

He became the chief of police and then without realizing it, we were together again.

I pick myself up out of the chair and hit slap the play button on the CD player. Classical piano fills the silent space and I start on some of the boxes in the corner. I unpack swaying side to side with the music. My classroom is known for these enormous book shelves they take up and entire wall from floor to ceiling surrounding the windows. Every year I seem to in cram in a few new ones, I let the other teachers come and borrow some for their classes. The school doesn't have much funding for picture books, but I've made it a mission to have as many as possible even if it comes out of my own pocket.

I dust off copies of Cat and The Hat and Green eggs and Ham and line them up neatly on the shelf. I hum to myself and get lost in organizing the colors and pictures, the authors and the sizes putting each book back in its rightful place.  
I stare at my room and take in the complete picture the pencil name tags with hand written names, the room is full of color but empty without the kids. I have fifteen students this year 8 boys and 7 girls, I can't wait till next week to meet them all. It's another new year.

The light starts to dim and I look up to see the sun dipping lower in the sky.

"Shit," I curse loudly looking up at the clock. I have to be at dinner for 6:00. I run out of the room swearing down the hall.

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"Isabella we are going to be late for the reservation," Jake yells up the stairs. I could hear the irritation in his voice.

"I'm already finished," I call down glancing in the mirror one last time. I have a touch of make up, my hair is falling in curls around my shoulders and I threw on a plain black cocktail dress.

"Then let's go," he calls.

My heels tip tap on the hardwood landing as I make my way down to the front door. Jacob holds it open for me with a grim smile and I force one of my own and walk over to his cruiser.

"Babe, can we take your car?" he asks already walking over to my car without waiting for my answer. I shrug my shoulder and hand him the keys, he loves to take the cruiser everywhere, strange.

We sit in tense silence on the way there Jake still fuming at my tardiness. The 45 minute drive into Seattle takes forever but we finally,end up at a fancy French restaurant with valet parking. That explains why he wanted my car. I sigh and look down at my appearance, I'm under dressed again. The hostess smiles at us and ushers us forward. Jake places a hand at the small of my back and leads me to our table in the middle of the restaurant. The lighting is dim and intimate, and there's a violinist playing somewhere in the background.

Our waitress comes over with a bottle of wine, thank god.

"Can I offer you some pinot noir?"

Jacob nods his head, and I smile politely "Yes, please," I answer as she pours me a glass. I take a small tentative sip as she walks away, it's sweet and bitter rolling lightly on my tongue. Maybe it'll take the edge off, I stare at the glass a moment before taking another sip.

The waiters are wearing tuxedos, and I shift uncomfortably in my casual dress. He could have warned me, but this is Jake. The waitress comes back over and Jake stares appreciatively at her low cut button down "and what can I get you this evening?" she asks. I roll my eyes and stare at the menu apparently didn't need to.

"We'll start off with the dandelion salad," Jake answers for me "and have the Coquilles St. Jaques A La Parisienne for the main course" he closes the menu with finality and hands it off to the waitress and I reluctantly do the same. You would think by now after so many years it wouldn't annoy me as much, but it does.

"So how was the classroom?" he asked as the salad was placed in front of us. I pick up my fork and spear a piece of lettuce.

"A mess, like every August," I answer taking a bite and making a face at the dressing that Jake doesn't notice.

"The school should fire that janitor," he mutters shaking his head.

"They don't have the funds to pay someone enough to care," I push the salad around feeling bad for wasting food. They come and clear the dish replacing it with a funny looking seafood entree'. I take a bite of scallop, not too bad.

"So how was your day?" I ask politely knowing the tirade that will ensue.

"Mrs. Petterson called five times today about that stupid cat..." he started.

Thank god, I can ignore him now. I nod along to his story thinking about the book I just started reading. Pride and Prejudice again. I left off, earlier today, at Mr. Darcy's first proposal, where Jane rejects him in the middle of the pouring rain. She has every right to, what with the way he treats her in the beginning, but still it's Mr. Darcy.

"Will there be any dessert this evening?" our waitress is back, poor girl is still trying to ask me, "Could we both have the Creme Brule" Jacob says without even looking at her. She nods with a smile pours us another glass of wine and moves on.

"...and then Bob," Jake continues without pause "Bob Styles told me we have some new folks in town and that he would be working at Theodore's old practice."

"That's nice" I murmur, going back to Pride and Prejudice. Mr Darcy was just one of those characters that you can never forget, the way he starts off as some stuck up snob to be redeemed as a noble generous loving man, you don't see that in real life.

I jump at the feel of a hand slipping over mine and I look up to see Jake's seat empty. My eyes trail to follow the hand and find him on one knee directly in front of me, holding a tiny velvet box.

My heart thuds in my chest, no, no no. God please no. Let those be earrings, let those be fucking earrings.

"Isabella Marie Swan you are my only love," he pulls open the little black box and nestled inside is a ring "I want to spend the rest of my life with you," he has a knowing smirk on his face, not a hint of nerves and I want to shove him and run.

"Marry me?" he pulls the ring from the box and holds it out to me expectantly.

I'm frozen, everything around me moves in a blurry rip tide pushing me to do something, to stop sitting and bolt before I lose the chance. He's smiling up at me like there is no doubt in his mind what my answer will be and I hear the whisper's of all the people staring waiting for my reply. The violin is closer now playing something haunting and sinister.

My heart screams at me to say no, its clawing and biting begging me to listen, but that word means loneliness. No means an empty house, no means waking up everyday knowing I will always be unwanted. No means freedom. The word is on the tip of my tongue, when he catches my eye and I can tell he's growing impatient.

"Why not?" I hear myself whisper instead. He stands up with a glass in his hand

"She said yes!" he yells, then applause breaks out and the room cheers.

I'm still frozen as he pushes the ring onto my finger and my moment of opportunity slips away, the door slams shut sealing my fate till death do us part.

_**0_o I know I know she said yes and your all screaming WHY! Just remember it is NOT Bella / Jake I promise. Reviews will get a sneak peek to the next update! **_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2**_

_**Hey all so I'm going to try and update as regularly as possible I'm hoping Thursdays or Fridays once a week to start if the demand goes up so do the updates, but for now that's what I'm shooting for. Now I hope this is a different take, I haven't really seen to many stories out there with this bit of a twist, so I hope you all enjoy and hanks again for reading! I'll see you a the bottom**_.

_**X Standard disclaimers apply X**_

_"How did I end up with Dave? It was never a decision, it just happened." -Anna and the French Kiss_

"Please tell me you didn't," Angela whispered a hand flying up to cover her mouth.

"I said yes," I whispered sinking into my desk chair and burying my face into the crook of my elbow.

"Why?" her voice high and shrill, "why would you do that? You don't love Jake. Hell you don't even like him half the time."

"I know," I said banging my head lightly on the desk.

"Stop that," Angela growled slapping my arm lightly "you're being melodramatic we'll figure a way out of this."

"How?" I glared up at her."Umm how about you tell him you only have three months to live and then skip town."

I cracked a smile "Now who's being melodramatic,"

"I was kidding," she whispered a blush forming on her cheek. I raised an eyebrow and she shrugged.

"Here's an idea," Angela said pointing at me "you could tell him the truth."

I rolled my eyes "Yea that's gonna go over well, hey Jake do you remember the other day when you asked me to marry you? Well the answer was actually no, just thought I'd tell you before hand. Oh you don't care and it's happening anyway? Oh okay."

"See that wasn't s hard," Angela said with a smile.

"It's not gonna change anything Ang,"

"Why not," she said hands on hips.

"You know why not!" I muttered, throwing some papers in my bottom drawer.

"He can't make you marry him," she retorted.

"Technically he could," I pointed out.

"I think your just afraid of what could happen if you say no," she muttered crossing her arms.

"Look," I sighed "Jacob and I... We're comfortable, we're safe, it's what Charlie would have wanted."

"Charlie would have wanted you to be happy," she replied.

"Well I'm not unhappy," I muttered.

"That's not the same thing, the guy you marry should be your world! He should knock you on your ass, steal your breath away, and make you crazy. You should be grinning like mad and unable to walk for weeks at a time when you go on vacation."

"That's never gonna happen for me not everyone's Ben, Ang," I gave her a sad smile.

"No, but there's someone out there for you who will bring out that feeling. Ben is it for me and we both know Jacob isn't that at all, for you."

"I don't really believe in prince charming anymore Ang,"

"And I hate that bastard for making you think that way," her voice rose.

"Look we broke up for 2 1/2 years and there was no one. No second dates no return phone calls, nothing and no one looked twice at me" I ran a hand through my hair and looked away.

"Maybe you just needed more time."

"Or maybe Jacobs right. I'm boring and plain," I retorted.

"I highly doubt that's the problem" I rolled my eyes,

"We're going in circles."

"I know," she sighed "Bella do you honestly think being stuck with Jake for the rest of your life is a good idea? You know when the I do's are over it will be hell to get a divorce, he'd never let it happen."

"It'll be hell either way," I murmured stacking the last few papers I needed on the corner of my desk.

Ang threw her hands up, "Fine but when you come to me three months after the wedding to crash on my couch, I will be saying I told you so."

"You'll have earned that right," I smiled "but please at least fake a smile through the wedding,"

"You really expect me to pretend this is ok?" she growled. "Well you're going to be the maid of honor so at least don't scowl down the aisle."

She froze a smile slowly brightening her face, "Really, maid of honor?" she whispered.

I nodded "The one and only."

Angela pulled me out of my chair and threw her arms around me. I started to laugh as she jumped up and down.

She pulled away suddenly holding me at arms length "As long as you know I don't support this," she gave me a stern look.

"Oh I know," I muttered.

"Oh my god there's a million things to do!"

"I know," I said again shaking my head.

"Have you started anything?"

"We got engaged on Friday Ang it's been less than a week."

"I know but you have to pick a date, book the hall, find invitations, and the cake!" she started pacing.

"Well actually," I looked up at the clock, " I'm supposed to be at this new bakery in like 30 min," I started shoving papers into my bag.

"Where are my damn keys," I muttered starting to panic.

"Here," Ang said holding them up with one finger, when I went to grab them she raised the a little higher, "I refuse to jump for those," I muttered with a glare.

She laughed handing them over, "I already passed in my class schedule, you want me to come?"

"I would love that, but Jake wanted to be there and well..."

"I"d probably claw his eyes out," she finished for me.

"Yea," I smiled "which might save me a lot of trouble," I mused.

"Go," she laughed "tell me what happens."

"Oh I will,"

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"Jacob you promised to be here an hour ago..." I sighed pacing the sidewalk outside of the bakery.

The appointment had been 30 minutes ago.

"Look babe I know, but something came up at work," he whispered. I glared at my phone, resisting the urge to throw it across the street.

"It was your idea to get a head start on all the wedding plans," I could hear my volume rising, "you wanted to check out this place for the cake and you told me it had to be today," I lowered my voice as a couple passed me. I pushed myself closer to the building and leaned against the wall.

"Well your class starts in a few days and you know we'll never get anything done after that," he paused for a moment before continuing "besides all this wedding stuff is girl shit anyway just pick something chocolate."

I could hear his secretary Lauren calling him into a meeting. "I gotta go," he muttered.

"Fine!" I snapped hanging up the phone.

I look up at the cheery pink banner for the new Seattle bakery "Cullen Creations" is written in a red swooping cursive with yellow daisies and baby birds surrounding the name, it looked like a unicorn threw up. It had some amazing reviews and even though they just opened it was a long waiting list.

"Screw chocolate," I mutter, pushing open the glass door, "I'm getting vanilla."

I'm really not sure what heaven smells like but it couldn't be any better than the mouth watering fragrances that flooded my senses as I walked into the building. It totally made up for the puking unicorn that was let loose in here.

Pink really doesn't even cover it. The floors are checkered a pastel pink and white the tables and chairs are these cute white little french numbers that you'd see in a cafe' with hot pink swirls painted on to look like vines. There were different shades of pink napkins, pink utensils, pink business cards, and the employees were all wearing Pink t-shirts with Cullen Creations stamped in Hot pink.

A tiny petite pixie of a girl came out from behind the counter yelling "If I catch any of you deviating from the recipes without my consent again I swear to mother fucking God I WILL can you, we had several complaints from the last wedding because somebody thought they knew how to make MY red velvet cupcake better."

Maybe everything wasn't so pink after all I smiled.

"I promise you will be out on your ass faster than you can say cream cheese..."

"Umm Alice?" one of the employees whispered.

"What?" she snapped.

"A customer just walked in," I saw the look of horror show on her face for about two seconds before she masked it with one of those everything is perfectly fine, I did not just cuss out my employee, smiles.

She took two steps forward extending her hand "Hi, I'm Alice Cullen, and you are?"

"Bella, Bella Swan, I had an appointment," I grinned.

"Oh, that's right! My 1:30, why don't you just take a seat and I'll be right with you,"

"No problem." I took a seat listening to Alice finish her rant in hushed tones behind the counter. After a few minutes they all cleared out into the back room leaving me on my own.

"Excuse me," I look down to see two bright green eyes peeking over the table.

"Yes," I smiled, leaning down closer to her height.

The pint sized angel took two steps in my direction coming around the table closer to me. She had reddish blonde curls falling around her shoulders framing her baby face. She was wearing a pastel yellow dress with white shoes and she had her chubby little hands folded in front of her. There was no way she could be older than four.

"Ummm... I know I'm not suposta talk ta strangers but..." She bit her bottom lip and a tear slipped out of the corner of her eye.

"I lostdid my daddy..." her chin trembled and my heart broke. I slid out of my seat and knelt in front of her so we were eye level. It's hard to get a child to feel comfortable with you when it's the first time you meet, and that's usually with a parent transition.

I smiled wide "Well," I whispered making her inch closer "you just so happened to pick the absolute best person to help you find your daddy, you know why?" "Why," she whispered back.

"Because I'm a teacher and my boyfriend is a police man,"

"Really?" her eyes widened.

"Really, and you know your absolutely right about not talking to strangers. It's very dangerous, but you know what," I said whispered "I'm not gonna be a stranger anymore. "

Her little brow furrowed. "How?"

I stuck out my hand "My names Bella Swan, what's yours?"

She cocked her head to the side before putting her tiny fingers in mine, "My names Lizzie Marie Cullen."

That couldn't be a coincidence, hopefully I wouldn't have to call Jake after all. "See Lizzie now we're not strangers, but it only works that way if you get lost and ask someone who's really nice for help okay?"

She nodded her head "okay,"and held on to my hand.

"How old are you sweet heart?" She held up her other hand showing me three fingers. "I'm tree and my next numbers four."

"Wow," I said looking impressed "What a big grown up girl."

She smiled wide "Imma big gurl, daddy said I'm goin ta pre schoo"

I smiled jback "Lizzie do you remember where you were going today with daddy?"

"Ta see auntie," her smile grew bigger.

"That's awesome I love visiting my auntie she always gives me treats."

She bounced a little in her excitement "Auntie Alice makes da best cupcakes in da whooole wide world,"

Bingo. I stood up keeping her hand in mine and made my way over to the display case "hmm why don't we pick you out a cupcake and see if we can find out just where your daddy ran off to."

She squeezed my hand "Really? A whole cupcake?"

"Really" I smiled "I don't think daddy will mind, which one do you want."

There were twenty or so different cupcakes displayed and I wasn't surprised when she pointed her little chubby finger to one with a flower on it "Dat one peese."

"Anything for you," I smiled down at her and she wrapped her arms around my legs.

"Thank you, Miss Bella" she whispered.

"Your very welcome Miss. Lizzie."

There wasn't anyone at the counter so I rang the bell and a disgruntled teenager walked through the door.

"Can I help you," she muttered.

"Yes can I please have the daisy cupcake, and I can you ask Alice to come out here please." The kid grabbed the cupcake and rang me out.

"Alice is busy right now" she handed me the bag, "but you can make an appointment and come back."

"I already made the appointment, but I really need to speak to her now."

"She's still busy, even if you ask in that tone."

My fist clenched and I handed Lizzie the cupcake."Why don't you sit right there sweetie and I'll be over in a minute," I whispered.

She nodded her head eyes glued to her goodie bag. When she was seated and out of ear shot I turned my attention back to counter girl and snarled "Listen you ass wipe, I don't know who you think you are but when you work in customer service, the customer is always right, nothing will get you canned faster than a smart mouth and not knowing when to do what your told. Now go get your boss before I jump over this counter to get her myself."

She grumbled about bridezilla's and finding something else to do this summer. I turned and smiled at Lizzie and gave her a thumbs up. She grinned back frosting all over her face.

"What do you mean you lost her?" I whipped my head around to see Alice's ashen face coming out from the back room a cell phone pressed to her cheek.

"No I don't know where a three year old would go on main street!" she shrieked. She leaned into the counter putting one hand to her forehead.

"Just get your ass over here," she snapped the phone shut and looked up at me with Devil eyes.

"Miss Sawn," she spat "I honestly don't know who you think..."

I put my hands out to stop her, "I think I would be a very worried Aunt right now," I moved out of her line of sight so she could see Lizzie swinging her chubby legs and cramming cupcake bits in her mouth.

"You found her?" she whispered, staring frozen for a moment before running around the counter and scooping Lizzie into her arms "Thank God your okay."

"Auntie!" Lizzie squealed hurrying her dirty face into Alice's shoulder, and wrapping her arms tightly around her neck.

Alice ran her hand threw Lizzie's reddish blonde curls.

"Don't you ever do that again." Alice looked up at me and I smiled

"She wandered into the store and when she told me her name.." she cut me off pulling me into the hug.

"Thank you so much." When Alice finally let me breathe we sat down together letting Lizzie finish her cupcake.

"Auntie this is Bella! She's a teacher and she's not a stranger." Alice glanced at me and I shrugged.

"Have you met her before?"

"Today! She said she wasn't a stranger cuz I met her and it's a special thing cuz I was lost!"

"Oh really?" Alice asked trying to hide a smile.

"Really, and guess what?" she whispered.

"What?" Alice said leaning in. Lizzie cupped her little hand over Alice's ear and loudly whispered. "Her boy fing's a police man."

Alice laughed "Oh really,"

Lizzie nodded her head enthusiastically. I heard the click of the door and I looked up to see a man rushing through it. He was tall his hair a reddish brown sticking up on end as if he'd been pulling at it. He was wearing jeans and a fitted black T-shirt, with sharp green eyes that matched Lizzie's. His eyes searched frantically around the room stopping on his daughter.

"Oh dear lord," he ran over to the table and pulled her into his arms.

"Daddy!" Lizzie's voice wobbled as she started to cry.

"It's alright sweet heart, I've got you."

"I'm sorry," she wailed.

It was strange that I didn't feel out of place watching their reunion. I couldn't put my finger on what had me glued to this family, or why being here felt familiar. After a moment everyone sat back down Lizzie was happily perched on her daddy's lap stuffing the last few crumbs in her mouth.

"I'm so grateful to you, for finding my daughter" her father said running a hand through his hair.

His eyes locked with mine and I felt trapped in his gaze. He held out his hand "I'm Edward Cullen."

_**First note is those were not spelling errors I wrote it that ay on purpose which i assume you all figured out but for the person who didn't notice see above statement. See, I've seen quite a few Bella babies but not many with Edward having one but hey I haven't read them all. Anyway I got this idea in my head and I hope you all like where this goes. Anyway reviews = sneak peeks to the next update thank you all so much. **_


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